Hi everyone! Happy New Year :)
Thank you so much for 95k+ views!!!
How was everyone's 2024? What are everyone's resolutions? ( Do write down in the comment section! And you can come back 1 year later to see if you made them possible!).
And.. What about me?
A Better human being
Well, I want to become a better human being this year compared to last year.
From a very young age, my father has been saying to me, "It does not matter if you are a good mathematician, but you should be a nice human being." As a teenager, I never took the statement seriously. Well, all that mattered to me was to do good mathematically. Why should I care about other people's feelings? These were all my thoughts in high school.
So I ended up saying a few hurtful statements without realising that they were hurtful.
I never actually cared throughout my high school. You know, the world is too big, if I hurt person A, no worries, I will move on to person B and start a new friendship!
As a result, I never grew as a person. And things became worse at CMI ( the university I study in).
For those who do not know about CMI, it is a small institute where people study Theoretical CS, math, physics and data science. It is the best place in India to study the mentioned subjects ( no cap). The "downside" is that the campus and the number of students at CMI are very low. I ended up doing the same thing but in the end, I ended up hurting almost a decent population at CMI. And sooner or later, I felt all the people I used to talk to became distant.
In the year 2024, I ended up realising this. And the realization hit me pretty hard. The fact that most people do not want to talk to me because of some reason or the other felt very bad. I felt lonely in my own hostel, a feeling I never felt before ever in my life. I would probably say Karma exists. Things went pretty low in my third semester, especially in October. It was the time I got diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, and I was essentially crying every day, feeling guilty about everything. The way I treated my friends and family, a few decisions and obviously academics.
Anyway, I am much better now, thanks to my parents supporting me, my psychiatrist and my medicines!
At the end of 2024, I also collected an annual feedback form where people could fill out things which they did not like about me. I got a lot of responses, many of them positive and filled with love ( which I did not expect ) and a few constructive criticisms. I love reading those comments as they help me grow and become a better person who treats other people with respect.
A Better Mathematician
Well, technically a theoretical computer scientist.
I am so grateful to be allowed to study at CMI where I can interact with so many brilliant professors, access the beautiful library and obviously discuss mathematics ( sometimes non math too ) with the students.
And this year, I want to learn more mathematics and clear my fundamentals. I have become much worse in math actually. And hopefully, read some research papers too :)
And discuss a lot of mathematics with other people.
However, with that whole depressing 2024 year, I have lost a lot of my confidence in mathematics. And to be a better mathematician, I should gain the confidence that I can be a mathematician. And well, I am working on that. I absolutely love this subject ( hence the domain of the blog) and I do not think this love will ever go away.
This year, I want to learn more about number theory and its computational aspects. I will be posting whatever I will be learning in my undergraduate blog.
A Better Explainer
In 2024 and the beginning of 2025, I had so many great opportunities to teach talented kids! I feel I could have done a much better job at explaining but I think that is something one learns from experiences only.
- Promys India 2024: I was grateful to be part of the Counselor ( teaching assistant) at PROMYS India 2024. I got to do number theory again and this time, shared my experience and intuition with a lot of other students! I would love to come back, teach a lot more and share my knowledge again!! And of course, IISC is a very place. The students were really curious about everything. It was a fun time there.
- EGMOTC 2023,2024: I was extremely grateful to be part of the European girls' mathematical olympiad training camp. I got to meet the best female mathletes from this country.
- Algebra-1 Teaching Assistantship: my first teaching assistantship. I was so happy to TA linear algebra. I studied lie algebra under Professor Khare. That helped me develop a better understanding and familiarity with Linear algebra. Very grateful that Professor Karnataki could trust me for this position. I ended up taking a few tutorials, grading quizzes and clearing doubts. This also helped me become closer to the first years and have a chance to interact with them!
- MOTC 2024: I was so grateful to be invited to MOTC 2024 conducted at IIT Guwahati. I got to meet a lot of budding talents from all over the northeast. I wish we could have something like this every year! A great initiative.
- Assam INMOTC 2025: I was so grateful to be invited to INMOTC 2024, which was conducted at USTM Meghalaya. I got to meet a lot of students, and they were all so interactive. It was very fun to be part of the camp. All the best to the INMO awardees.
- Tamil Nadu INMOTC 2025: I was so grateful to be invited to Tamil Nadu's INMOTC 2024. I took a class with my senior and friend Ananya Ranade. I enjoyed taking the class with her! A new experience.
Surprisingly, a lot of people knew me from before because of my blog! I am so grateful that you all decided to spend a few minutes of your life reading this blog. I hope it helps you all in some way or the other.
Moreover, from all these experiences, I learnt a few things:
- Whenever I am taking a class, I should not just do "Problem", "proof" "problem", and "proof" but rather motivate the intuition behind them and how to think about the problems.
- In a class, I should focus on the students who do not interact more because they usually get left behind and are not that comfortable asking questions.
- Should be well prepared with the material
- But it is okay if I get stuck in the proof or realise I was wrong while teaching. After all, I am a human too.
- Prepare problem sets from before and give them sets at least a day prior so that the students can get sufficient time to solve them.
And I will continue learning more...
It is pretty happy how this blog is now 4 + years old. You all have watched me from becoming an INMO awardee to EGMO medalist to graduating high school to starting my college and now, I have completed half of my degree already.. Time spends by pretty quickly..
A few pictures which contain memories!
Pankaj Sir clicked this photograph. My last class at MOTC 2024.
Chennai INMOTC 2024
I received an honorarium from the Director of IIT Guwahati!
Pretty diagrams. Who would not be proud.
Assam INMOTC. Thank you so much to Dr. Prabin Das for inviting me.
Haha, I was teaching Power of Point there....
Shout out to my Secret Santa for giving such a cute gift :)
Hope you all enjoyed reading this post :)
Sincerely
Sunaina Pati
You are courageous.
ReplyDeleteHey its amazing that you realised how you were treating others and are taking steps to become a better person. Many people won't even care about that. The hardest part is admitting that you are wrong, and I hope you fulfill your resolution.
ReplyDeleteAnd as a person who had a depressing year too, Im really happy you got help.
anyways hope you have an amaaaazzziinggg year.
<3